I think by now most of my friends realize that if they leave a drunken, clever, or otherwise novel voicemail on my phone, it’s going to end up on this blog. So Ransom knew what was coming.

First, though, I think it’s imperative that I share with you the signature ringtone that calls from Ransom activate, in honor of his high school vocation as a saxophone player.

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will be especially hilarious if you can envision Ransom wailing away on his sax during early-morning jazz band rehearsal. Thanks, Samsung!

Next, I’d like you all to remind yourselves of Ransom’s long-held appreciation for Cornershop.

Hanji!

And now for the voicemail itself, which—once tweaked a bit with GarageBand—I’d like to think serves the ancilliary purpose of introducing a new multimedia subgenre: the

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.