The fact that I’ve gone nearly three weeks now without the obligatory New Year’s Resolution post is not an accident. There are a few reasons for this, chief among them the fact that I didn’t make any resolutions except the aforementioned one to start taking my coffee black. This may seem trite, but it’s honestly about the only thing I feel I can stick to at this point, and even this modest lifestyle change has proven a bit difficult to effect. But I’ve done it. Aren’t you proud of me?

In past years, the new calendar has found me resolving to: drink less, stop drinking altogether, stop drinking soda, drink only carbonated soda, go to bed earlier, meditate more, meditate at all, spend my money more wisely, read a book a week, be nicer to people, write more, write at all, learn to play guitar, stop buying crap I don’t need, stop eating crap that’s bad for me, join a band, exercise, exercise at all, quit my current job, get a better job, etc. Maybe it’s because these are vague and commonplace goals without specific schedules and strategies for implementaiton, but it should come as no surprise that I’ve lapsed on all of them, though not without some good faith effort preceding my recidivism.

This year, I have some goals in mind, but they’re not necessarily concurrent with the beginning of the new year. And they’re ambitious, but hardly quixotic; concrete items I can put on a list that only I will see, so that only I will know if I succeed or fail. That’s the other thing: sincere ambitions are best kept secret. Boasting about an achievement prematurely is the surest way to jinx it and ensure its failure. (For example, “I’m only on day two of my diet, and I feel great;” “Tomorrow I’m going to quit smoking for good this time;” “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!” etc.)

So for now, here’s my list of New Year’s Resolutions:

Start taking my coffee black.