Last night Karen and I were sitting on our back porch drinking vermouth on the rocks (which I’d never tried before and is surprisingly—and dangerously—tasty) when we saw a light come on in the upstairs window of the huge house bordering our backyard, and what appeared to be a naked torso walk in front of it (the window). We leapt to our feet and rushed to the balcony railing to try and get a better look. The torso returned to the window, whereupon we ascertained that 1) it was in fact naked, 2) but it was a man’s, and 3) the man in question was overweight, and 4) he was tuning a violin.

We returned to our seats feeling rather disappointed, but I tried to look on the bright side. “Hey,” I reminded Karen, “We can still say we saw a shirtless fat guy tuning a violin.”